(Updated Jan 14th, 2025)

Group Rules and Guidelines

Here is our list of group rules for members to follow when attending our events, participating in our Discord, and interacting with other members outside of our events. Our members are laid back, and our goal is to create a relaxed space for all members to feel comfortable in.

1. This group is restricted to Autistic adults.

You must be a post-high school Autistic adult (18+), either diagnosed or self-diagnosed, to participate in our space in any capacity, including attending our events and joining our Discord Server. Some of our events (including public events like Autistic Pride Day, or our PAUSE events) are open to all, which will be noted in the event description. 

2. Be respectful to your fellow members.

We are a diverse group of individuals with different backgrounds and beliefs. Advocating for your/others' opinions is encouraged, but being disrespectful, rude, or hurtful when disagreements arise is prohibited. 

Occasionally other members might be unaware if they’re saying something offensive, being over-talkative and overwhelming, or hurting your feelings. It's encouraged to be transparent in our space, and communicate your feelings with group members when issues arise. It’s also okay to distance yourself from that group member and find someone else to talk to. 

As we all struggle with understanding unspoken rules, it’s encouraged to set clear boundaries with others. All members are required to respect any boundaries clearly stated (either in-person or in writing) by group members or AANYC staff/volunteers.

If you have issues with a group member causing harm or breaking our group rules, please report that member directly to us and discontinue communications. You may choose to respond directly to the member (publicly or privately) if you believe it won’t lead to further harm to yourself or others (Suggested techniques are oops, ouch, woah, or calling in/calling out).

3. The following list of ideologies are prohibited:

  • Homophobia/Transphobia

  • Misogyny, Incel ideology/terminology, any “manosphere” ideologies

  • Sexism

  • Racism, xenophobia, islamophobia & antisemitism

  • Ableism, eugenics, supremacy (Including towards neurotypicals and those with different support needs)

  • Gatekeeping autism, self-diagnosis shaming

  • Broad generalizations about genders, neurotypes, or any other groups of people 

  • Endorsing violence towards self or others

We prioritize the safety of marginalized groups in our space. It is okay to discuss these topics, but promoting any of these or any other hateful/prejudiced views is not tolerated. Read: Civil Rights are Disability Rights.

4. Be mindful of adult/offensive content & conversations.

Dark/inappropriate jokes might not be well received or understood. Also, Autistics are statistically more likely to have experienced sexual abuse, and many of us do not want to participate in conversations around adult topics. 

Remember consent is important, and make sure your jokes/comments are welcome. A good rule of thumb: if you are chatting with a person/group you’re not familiar with, keep it clean. In general, be mindful and steer clear of highly explicit content, such as discussions about personal sexual experiences or comments on your/others' bodies. Change the subject if others share they are uncomfortable with your statements or if moderators/group facilitators ask you to move on. 

5. Aggressive, inappropriate, or repeated unwanted advances are prohibited.

Communication outside of meetups is allowed and encouraged - our goal is to encourage genuine friendships and bonds with others in the Autistic community. While making those genuine connections, it's just as important to make a space for everyone to feel comfortable.

Repeatedly crossing a group member's boundaries, or making inappropriate or aggressive advances to multiple group members is not welcome. If you’re unsure of the best conduct or want some tips for staying safe, please read: Tips for Navigating Interactions: Respects, Boundaries, and Safety

Online Rules

All of the former rules apply, but here are additional rules specific to our discord or other online chats:

  • All heavy/serious/potentially triggering subjects must be posted in #discussion. If you’re unsure about a specific topic, post it in discussion. 

  • Intentional spam in an attempt to annoy or bug other members is not allowed. 

  • Joining our Discord server and only messaging to solely promote is not allowed. Occasionally promoting something you made, your business, a performance, etc. is fine. 

  • Encouraging group members to harass/target other individuals, groups or organizations, is prohibited.

  • Discussing/Conducting any illegal activity is prohibited.

  • Slurs/pornographic content are prohibited.

Our discord server is connected to our in-person community. Our server is not an online form for promotion, solicitation, or heated discussion. Our intent is to keep our server a relaxed & communal environment. Everyone in the group has different levels of comfort around controversial topics, and may find certain discussions triggering. A good rule of thumb - Don't ask questions or make comments you wouldn't say to someone's face in person. If you’re unsure if it’s an appropriate question/discussion topic for our discord, it might be best to find another form/platform to ask.

Reporting

If you become aware of any group members breaking our rules, PLEASE let us know. Even if you’re not sure it qualifies as rule breaking, we will definitely take note and determine what action needs to be taken. Urgent/Safety related situations will be handled immediately. Please reach out for any updates, questions, or additional issues as well.

Ways to Contact Us: 

Anonymous Contact Form (anonymous, will be seen by staff)

Email info@autisticadultsnyc.org (will be seen by staff)

Office Hours (DM chat or a voice/video call)

Discord (Go to #reports thread, DM chat with discord moderators)

Removal

There is a two-part process prior to group removal. After breaking a group rule once, the individual will be pulled aside for a one-on-one conversation with board/staff to inform the member and resolve any issues with all members involved. After breaking the same or additional group rules a second time, a committee of board/staff will discuss what further action needs to be taken depending on the severity of the rules broken, including possible removal.

Cases that may designate instant removal: 

  • For members who do not agree to our rules or clearly do not intend to follow our rules

  • Stalking, harassing, threatening, or any violent behavior towards group members and non-group members, revealing personal information about people without their permission (“doxxing”).

  • Other Safety Concerns*

Removal from our group prohibits individuals from attending our in-person events, online events, and joining our Circle and discord. In some non-safety related cases, members may be restricted from attending in-person events but able to chat in our discord, or vice versa.

*This is a social group, not a therapy, support, or crisis group. While we believe all individuals deserve community and support, our team reserves the right to remove participants from our social program if we identify any safety concerns towards themself or others with their involvement. In such cases, we may recommend alternative resources better suited to provide the necessary support.

No-Show Policy

This policy applies to in-person events. 

You are strongly encouraged to change your RSVP at least 24 hours before the event starts. This is to allow other members to grab your spot, as changing your RSVP a couple hours before the event doesn’t allow enough time for other members to attend typically. We understand that in some situations (sick, burnout, emergencies) you may not be able to change your RSVP earlier than 24 hours prior to the event, so please change as soon as you can. 

A no-show here is defined as not removing your RSVP at all before the event start time if you aren’t attending. 2 no-shows in a month will result in not being able to sign up for in-person events for 1 month.

Photo Policy

Event hosts will occasionally take group photographs at our events. Event hosts will get verbal consent from our members to be photographed, and members who don’t want to be photographed remain outside of the frame. Photographs may be included on our website photo gallery, discord, meetup, or circle, and will not be used for promotional content unless otherwise stated. No one is required to be photographed to participate in our group. Occasionally, some members may take photos during events and share in our group discord - these photos will NOT be included in our gallery or used for any promotional content.

Animal Policy

Service animals and emotional support animals (ESA) are welcome at our events. Pets are not welcome at our events, regardless of the venue location or activity. For ESA’s: Your animal must remain with you at all times.